Sexercise

I knew that would catch your attention.

I posted a few weeks ago about Clara and "extracising", so with all fairness, I thought I needed to post about Eden's "sexercise".

She had absolutely no idea what she was saying when she said this. But Dave and I could not stop laughing. Clara was doing leg lifts and extracising, Eden doing some form of crazy jumping jack and sexercising.

Much to my dismay, we had to tell her that using that word probably wasn't a good idea, especially given the catholic school she attends.

But the more I started thinking about it, the more enlighted I became.

If you didn't know, I am studying to become a personal trainer and lifestyle coach. The key to a "lifetime" of fitness is to find something you truly enjoy and stick with it. This might work for some people out there.

I don't know what comes to your mind when you hear the word "sexercising", but I know what comes to the mind of most men. So, I looked it up. Sexercise already exists. (God, I hope Dave is not reading this.) And, in fact, there is a book called, Sexercise: Spice up your sex life and get fit in the process - you can order it here.

Tomorrow is my 14th wedding anniversary. If I get this as a gift, I am going to kill someone.

Enjoy.

Is that a tie you are wearing?

My sister and her husband moved to Calgary, Canada this summer. She enrolled my nephews in a school that requires uniforms.

This post is about being very careful about what you say. Last year, I sent my sister a photo of my kids on the first day of school. Yes, boys wear ties. My nephews thought this was very funny.

Here are my kids on the first day this year:



Here are the Fabulous Baker Boys:



What is that a tie? And dress shoes? And a cardigan?

All fun aside, they look awesome and I wish them the best of luck at their new school.

And I don't believe Jeffrey skateboarded to school, but who knows?

Doing my part

We try not to use plastic bags for lunch containers. Instead, we use reusable containers, every day. I know that this is the right choice for the environment and my kids future, but we have only finished two days of school and already I am tired of cleaning them out.

Could be a long year.

Dear God, (a back to school prayer)

it is me, JoEllen. Thank you for school. I am officially checking out of parent duties starting tomorrow at 8:15 a.m. and not checking back in until 3:30 p.m.

I love my kids and am thankful for every last bit of them, but my patience for household messes, fighting over a five square foot chair when we have been blessed with a 4,000 square foot house and picking up flip-flops, has run its course.

Thank you for Davis, my firstborn, he will always hold a special place in my heart, but lately his know-it-allness (I know that is not a word) is driving me and everyone else nuts. Please, God, challenge him at school this year so that he realizes on his own that he, in fact, does not know it all.

Thank you for Eden, my middle child (she is 30 seconds older than Clara). Help her to realize that crazy, whiny baby talk will get you know where - especially in first grade. Help her realize that girlie girl crap is just that, crap! And give her the strength to not get caught up in it all.

Thank you for Clara, my baby. She and I have a special bond I can not explain, even though she is more like her dad than she is me. I love this child like you can never imagine. Find a way to catch her attention and provide her with the ability to focus on ... something!

God love them. I do. I just need a break.

Amen.

(Tomorrow - our new school year goals. Yes, I made them, as much as goal-setting is hard for me, I did it.)

Every good comedian needs an audience

Clara made me laugh out loud twice today (once I laughed so hard my stomach hurt).

Here is the first - I was tiptoeing around my bedroom upstairs thinking all my sweet angels were sleeping in (it was only 7:30 - and yes that is sleeping in at the Baxyard) when I came out of my bathroom and saw this...



I apologize for the photo quality - I just grabbed my phone quickly because God forbid Rudolph, Murphy, Zoo Zoo and Lionheart, find out I was snapping their photo and get camera shy. Yes, that is Clara. Playing Mario Cart with her audience. Can a six-year old be more relaxed?

Second thing. "Extracise." You know, that thing you do when you run just to run, or swim just to swim, or go to the gym, or do Pilates. "What are you talking about, Clara? Do you mean exercise?" "No, mom, exercise is when you're out on the playground, or playing a soccer game, or Davis is playing basketball. "Extracise is what you do. You know, because it is Extra!"

Got it! Love her.

Capital, Hays, Mountains, Home, whew!

I apologize for the lack of posting (basically the entire month of July). Know that this was not my intention. I had planned on posting the remaining photos from our trip to D.C (Capital), send photos from our trip to Colorado and update things when I got home. None of these happened. So, here is a one month recap.

1. The Capital. We took a Sunday drive to Annapolis to see the US Naval Academy. This was a great idea, in my head. How was I to know that the new plebes report to school on July 1st and that Annapolis may be one of the busiest places in the world (for it's relative size) on the weekend of July 4th? Yikes! We spent more time parking and walking to and from our parking spot than we did touring the Academy.



It was also our intention to eat an authentic Maryland Crab dinner while in Annapolis. This did not happen either. When traveling with children, it is important to remember they must eat every two hours. The wait was longer than that at this popular crab place and by 4:00 in the afternoon we had not eaten since breakfast! Just imagine our lovely children's temperaments.

The highlight of the day was a comment Davis made to his dad about attending the Naval Academy. Dave and I had been talking up the merits of a Naval Academy education (mostly, we are trying to get all our kids to college for free). Davis was thinking this might be really cool. Until, after seeing several plebes walking in formation he asked his dad why they all had such short hair. Dave informed him that they were required to shave their heads when they got to school. Davis, "Well, then, I am not going here." I will say, he does have one of the most lovely heads of hair of any 5th grader I know. So, maybe we will try and find a free acting school - can you say "Patrick Dempsey."

We then spent the 4th of July attending "A Capital 4th" from the lawn of the capital. The music was incredible, and the fireworks, though slightly hidden from view by a tree, were amazing. No wonder we are at our debt ceiling - quite a show. The highlight of the entire trip for me was seeing Steve Martin. He now plays banjo, as if being a great actor and comedian weren't enough, and is darn good. I almost fainted when I saw him in his ivory suit, light blue shirt, red tie and black glasses. I know he is a little old for me, but hey, I like older guys. Check out his band, The Steep Canyon Rangers.

2. Hays, Kansas. After spending two days at home unpacking, doing laundry and packing, we were off to the mountains for two weeks. Anyone who knows us is keenly aware of our unfortunate luck when driving I-70 West. We have had puking kids and flat tires. We have been stranded in a blizzard and slept in our truck. So, we took every appropriate measure we could to be prepared for our trip. We checked the oil, spare tire, washer fluid, coolant, packed a cooler of ice with snacks, a cooler of water. We were ready.

At 9:00 in the morning on Saturday, we left. As relaxed and calm as we have ever been on a road trip. We stopped for lunch in Salina, then hit the highway. Just outside Russell, Kansas, I heard a strange sound coming from the driver side front tire. I turned to Dave, and said, "I think I should pull over, I think we have a flat tire." I am sure he thought I was crazy or delusional, but we pulled over. He got out, checked, got back in the car and announced, "Yes, a flat." Oh Crap! Why Us?

Now, one thing our kids have learned about traveling with Dave and I, is that flat tires can be fun. Clara's first comment, with her arms raised high over head in a cheer was, "Woo-hoo, do we get to sleep in the car tonight?" God, I hope not. It was 2:00 in the afternoon and 100 degrees, 110 on the highway in the sun. Eden's first comment, "Look mom, a dead animal skeleton right outside the car," It really sucked!



We called Triple AAA, even though, Dave was already diligently working (sweating his ass off) on the tire. I figured we could use the help. They informed us after an hour, that they couldn't find anyone to come help us (they should be getting the letter I wrote them about this right about now) At this point, we are realizing our spare tire is so old, that we can't lower it from below the truck. Great. Add to that, our truck is now overheating and we can no longer enjoy the benefit of air conditioning.

Dave and I were getting a little concerned at this point. Our kids? Not so much. Busy playing with ice in the car. Finally, we enlist the help of a highway patrolman who is able to help Dave get the tire down and on. Off we went. At this point, I am just thankful our truck started.

We drove about 20 minutes down I-70 to Hays, Kansas. We knew we needed to get the 10-year old spare replaced and a new spare tire. We pulled into Wal-mart to check on buying some new tires. They had a tire they could sell us, but it would be a two hour wait. We had no choice. It was 4:45 in the afternoon at this point.

Now here comes the part that sounds really crazy. First, a little history. For the last few months I have been researching new cars. We knew our truck was living on borrowed time (10 years, 170,000 miles.) But, I was trying to hold out a little while longer. I knew the car I wanted. It would be a new Ford Explorer and I was planning on ordering a 2012 sometime later in the fall, because there were not any 2011s in the KC area at the time, that were not totally tricked out. I am a firm believer that the point of a car is to get you from A to B - so I don't need all the bells and whistles.

After taking a bathroom break at Wal-mart, I got on my trusty iPhone and pulled up the inventory of the Ford dealership directly across the street from Wal-mart. Well, what do you know? They just happen to have the car we were going to order. So, like any good American family, we hopped in our trusty, gas-guzzling SUV, drove across the street, and to make a long story shorter, bought a new car, moved all our belongings out of the old truck into the new one and off we went. We arrived in the mountains at 2:00 in the morning on Sunday and did not have to sleep in our car. Who does that? We do. Now, our kids will think that a flat tire means you sleep in your car overnight in a blizzard, or you just buy a new car! Gotta love living in suburban Johnson County.





Thankfully, the rest of our trip was extremely less eventful. We enjoyed two beautiful weeks of hiking, mountain biking, rafting and just being outside. We did not watch TV at all and my brother joined us for a few days.



We met up with some good friends of ours for hiking, swimming and some dinner. It was a sad day when we left and I am secretly (well, not so secretly now, job-searching for something in Denver.) What would be really great is if Colorado would secede from the Union and become it's own country, then I could live somewhere really great and not have to listen to all this crap about a bogus debt ceiling deadline.




Now, we are home. And it feels good. We have three weeks until school starts and a lot of things to cross of our summer fun list. We shall see.

Fun-producers vs. Fun-users?

What are you? Okay, maybe you have not heard this term before. In fact, I am not sure where I first heard it. I think one of Dave's friends used the term "fun-producer." You know the person. Everywhere he/she goes laughter, good times, craziness and parties follow. He/she creates fun. I think this is a positive thing.

I have two fun-producers in my house. There names are Eden and Clara and wherever they go, they produce fun. In fact, I actually had a teacher of theirs use this term to describe them also.

Now granted, having your best friend live with you 24 hours a day makes it easier to be this type of person. These two are NEVER bored.

What are you? Me? Totally a fun user.

Have a Happy 4th of July. Baxyard is headed to Washington D.C. We are hoping to get in a few sights and museums, a trip to Annapolis and fireworks at the capital. Enjoy!

Lions, Tigers and Louisburg

Looking for something fun to do with your kids over the weekend?

Head south. And not South Africa. Just to Louisburg.

A few Saturdays back we drove to the Cedar Cove Feline Conservation Park & Education Center in Louisburg, Kansas. It is just about 20 minutes from our house - probably about 45 minutes from downtown Kansas City - just down 69 highway.

You really won't believe this place. They have seven bengal tigers, beautiful cats. Two lions. And numerous other "wild" cats. On Saturdays, check the hours before you go, you will be assigned a very knowledgeable guide who can answer all your questions about these large cats.

Did you know that in the next 10 - 15 years they expect Tigers to be extinct? Hard to imagine that my kids' kids may never see a tiger.

So make a trip. Check out their website here for hours, etc.

Pumping

We, yes we, conquered the skill of "pumping" on the swings today. I like to think that as of the mother of two six year olds, that when they accomplish something, I also accomplish something. Pumping, you know, that life changing moment when the swing becomes your favorite place to breathe and think and be.

Two seconds before this photo was taken, Clara said to me, "I will never be able to swing myself." Yet, there she went. So much so that it pained me when we had to get in the car to pick-up Davis from soccer. I did not want her to forget how she felt at that moment.

Or how I felt!

Get your "Irish On"

One of my friends used this expression the other day and I loved it. So we did. We got our Irish on and went to the St. Patrick's Day parade in Lawrence, Kansas yesterday. We had a great time. Other than being almost blown away several times, the weather was great. How good it felt to stand outside, in the sun, in 80 degrees! Love it. Looking forward to more of these days soon.



This was our favorite entry - a wagon you can rent. You sit in the back and peddle while drinking! No, they don't allow any liquor at this time (though their website says they are working on it) how fun!



Hope you all had a safe and happy St. Patrick's Day.

P.S. The Baxyard is heading to Bangalore, India for the next 10 days - should have lots of fun interesting images from that far away land!

The Tortoise and the Hare

Some day, many years from now, my daughters may read this and be really mad.

Though my girls are twins, they are very different.

Clara has blonde hair (slowly turning light brown), brown eyes and has stick straight hair to match her stick skinny legs - she gets that from her dad. She is spunky and a bit clumsy when it comes to athletics. But she tries hard.

Eden has brown, curly hair and a dark complexion. She is not waif thin like Clara. She is muscular, athletic and very sweet. And she gives her older brother Davis a run for his money on the soccer field.



So, I found it very ironic that when they went to a paint your own pottery birthday party, Clara painted a turtle and Eden a rabbit. We are living version, every day of the Tortoise and the Hare.

Really...that is not a picture of me pole dancing!

Now that I have your attention. I received this e-mail from my daughter's kindergarten teacher today. It is, as she says, "priceless".


A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for her homework assignment.



The teacher graded it and the child brought it home.

She returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,
I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration.
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money.
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.
This drawing is of me . . . selling a shovel!!!!!

Sincerely,
Mrs. Harrington