All I can say is...

when you stop writing for a while and stop thinking about writing it is liberating and easy.

The hard part is turning back on, starting back up. So, I am back. Everyday for the last month I have had a really funny endearing story about our life I have been meaning to share, but somehow they seemed not worthy. I felt as if I needed to find the perfect thing to start writing again. And there it was, the whole problem. That crazy search for perfection.

So this post is not perfect. It is not funny or cute or witty or worth sharing. There isn't even a picture.

We shall see what comes of this.

Sometimes...

life gives you lemons and you don't want to make lemonade. Maybe you don't want lemonade because it is to cold out to drink lemonade, you don't like lemonade or your local grocery store simply doesn't have enough sugar for all the lemons. Maybe you don't even like lemon cake or lemon cream pie or lemon poppyseed muffins.

So, when life gives you lemons and you don't want lemonade, what do you do?

Do you stay home, speak up, ask for help, cry, leave town, eat, work, go to movies, clean, hug your kids, your boyfriend or your mom?

Do you listen to rap music or country, practice yoga, meditate, run, shop, pray or cook?

Do you sleep more, sleep less, take long walks, long drives?

Do you seek out change, look for something new, wonder about what could have been, should have been?

I won't say life has given me lemons. I feel as if I can't say that. I have three amazing children who I can not imagine my life without. I have a warm home in the winter and cool home in the summer. I have clothes on my back (and I like most of them). I have time to work out, run, go to pilates. I am not hungry or cold (well sometimes cold, but only because I like it that way). I have friends who I wouldn't get through the day without. So, I feel guilty sometimes when life's circumstances affect my outlook on life, because my brain tells me I am not allowed to feel this way - there are people who have lost loved ones, sick people, hungry kids.

And yet, here I am. My heart feeling as if it is lost in a bowl of lemons and my head telling me to get over it. What do you do? Where do you go from here?

Late Adopter

I have never been an early adapter. For example, I got an iPhone 3 years after the first one came out - and I still don't have an iPad. I didn't buy a pair of skinny jeans until, last week. I think they have been "in" for several years now. And today, I attended a Fusion class at Fusion Fitness KC and it kicked my a--!

Yes, that is right. I have been hearing about this class and this studio for over a year. I have had the best of intentions to get there. Today, I made it. I thought, walking in the door, "today is a cardio day for me, I sure hope I break a sweat." Wow! I was sweating so profusely that my mat was too slippery to downward dog on at the end of class.

Usually I can "mind over matter" myself through almost any workout. Today, I had to take a break several times. I will be paying the price tomorrow, I am sure. But it was fun. I will be back there on Monday morning at 5:45 a.m. I will not let this class win.

Hope y'all have a great weekend. It looks to be so beautiful here this weekend - fun times ahead (if I can walk!)

20 Days

Has it really been 20 days since I posted? I was just thinking, "I really need to update the blog." Had no idea it had been 20 days.

So, what has been up? Not much. I had a birthday. I had a visit with a great friend. I started my fall 21-day cleanse (I am on day 10 - and feeling great). Other than that. Just a lot of spelling words and science projects.

I will say that part of my absence can be explained by this cleanse, I tend to navigate to food blogs late in the evening, so I have been trying to stay away from my home computer except to check e-mail, etc. The temptation is often way more than I can deal with - see here!

During this cleanse, I have really been trying to focus on some more "spiritual" (not religious) issues. What I am calling, "focus." It has been good and I have enjoyed getting up each day and reading these which come from the book "Crazy Sexy Diet." The author, Kris Carr, faced with a cancer diagnosis several years ago, changed her life and diagnosis through clean eating and has a great book all about it - now everything in the book needs to be taken to heart and then adapted to meet your needs, etc. I can not eat Vegan as she does and I don't agree with everything, but there is a section in the back about a 21-day cleanse. Her cleanse is a little different from the Cleanse I do, but her daily tips are fun. I really enjoyed today's, so I am sharing it here.

Today's "focus" was to:

Make a love list - ten things you absolutely love. This simple act reminds us that life if full of blessings. It's amazing how many beautiful things we notice when we train our eyes.

Here is mine (and I make no excuses for how vain and shallow it may seem - this is not a forever list - just a today list) - not in order of importance.

1. Some great new fall skinny corduroys I just got with a birthday gift card



2. Wallpaper for my powder room



3. Fall mornings

4. This guy (and his sisters - not pictured)



5. Honeycrisp Apples - they are back!

6. My bed

7. That Dave empties the dishwasher in the morning

8. Vitamix - I could not do this cleanse without it.



9. Colorado - yes the whole state.

10. Jump ropes


What do you love? Make your list. It can change daily and probably does.

School Thoughts

Last night was back to school night at St. Michael's. A night I usually dread. And last night, I was especially dreading it because I was going solo as Dave was working in San Francisco (his company's offices are based in San Fran). I am easily overwhelmed by the number of people and the amount of effort that seemingly goes into the dress code for this rather uneventful night.

The night begins with an introduction from Father Porter and Mr. C (the principal), then the parents break up and spend about 20 minutes in the classrooms of each child.

The teachers introduce themselves, talk about the upcoming year and hand out a few papers with schedules, etc. In the packet of information that I received from Eden's teacher there was a great quote.

"I promise you every day your children will learn something. Some days they'll bring it home in their hands. Some days they'll bring it home in their heads. And some days they'll bring it home in their hears." Valerie Welk

Thank you Mrs. Elston - you made the whole night worthwhile for me.

Have a great long weekend.

Slip-ups happen

Since the kids started back to school, we have really been focusing on getting the sugar out of the house and cleaning up from a summer of popsicles, ice cream, hamburgers on the grill, etc.

Things were going well. A word of caution to everyone out there reading this and trying to eat cleaner and healthier, when you are awakened from a deep sleep (or not so deep in my case) at 12:30 in the morning and are hungry, it is best not to go online and read all the food blogs you subscribe too.

Want to know what happens?

You make a 1/4 of a macaroon recipe at 1:30 in the morning - eat two, drink a glass of milk and then go back to bed. Wishing you hadn't had that coconut leftover in your pantry from the healthy granola bars you made a few weeks ago. Nonetheless - here is the recipe. I plan on making the entire batch this weekend - they were amazing!

Damn it.

See it happens to all of us.

Today, much better.

P.S. Happy anniversary Dave -- 14 years. Today is your one year warning. One year to start saving for the 15th wedding anniversary and my 40th birthday - yikes for you!

Sexercise

I knew that would catch your attention.

I posted a few weeks ago about Clara and "extracising", so with all fairness, I thought I needed to post about Eden's "sexercise".

She had absolutely no idea what she was saying when she said this. But Dave and I could not stop laughing. Clara was doing leg lifts and extracising, Eden doing some form of crazy jumping jack and sexercising.

Much to my dismay, we had to tell her that using that word probably wasn't a good idea, especially given the catholic school she attends.

But the more I started thinking about it, the more enlighted I became.

If you didn't know, I am studying to become a personal trainer and lifestyle coach. The key to a "lifetime" of fitness is to find something you truly enjoy and stick with it. This might work for some people out there.

I don't know what comes to your mind when you hear the word "sexercising", but I know what comes to the mind of most men. So, I looked it up. Sexercise already exists. (God, I hope Dave is not reading this.) And, in fact, there is a book called, Sexercise: Spice up your sex life and get fit in the process - you can order it here.

Tomorrow is my 14th wedding anniversary. If I get this as a gift, I am going to kill someone.

Enjoy.

Is that a tie you are wearing?

My sister and her husband moved to Calgary, Canada this summer. She enrolled my nephews in a school that requires uniforms.

This post is about being very careful about what you say. Last year, I sent my sister a photo of my kids on the first day of school. Yes, boys wear ties. My nephews thought this was very funny.

Here are my kids on the first day this year:



Here are the Fabulous Baker Boys:



What is that a tie? And dress shoes? And a cardigan?

All fun aside, they look awesome and I wish them the best of luck at their new school.

And I don't believe Jeffrey skateboarded to school, but who knows?

Doing my part

We try not to use plastic bags for lunch containers. Instead, we use reusable containers, every day. I know that this is the right choice for the environment and my kids future, but we have only finished two days of school and already I am tired of cleaning them out.

Could be a long year.

Dear God, (a back to school prayer)

it is me, JoEllen. Thank you for school. I am officially checking out of parent duties starting tomorrow at 8:15 a.m. and not checking back in until 3:30 p.m.

I love my kids and am thankful for every last bit of them, but my patience for household messes, fighting over a five square foot chair when we have been blessed with a 4,000 square foot house and picking up flip-flops, has run its course.

Thank you for Davis, my firstborn, he will always hold a special place in my heart, but lately his know-it-allness (I know that is not a word) is driving me and everyone else nuts. Please, God, challenge him at school this year so that he realizes on his own that he, in fact, does not know it all.

Thank you for Eden, my middle child (she is 30 seconds older than Clara). Help her to realize that crazy, whiny baby talk will get you know where - especially in first grade. Help her realize that girlie girl crap is just that, crap! And give her the strength to not get caught up in it all.

Thank you for Clara, my baby. She and I have a special bond I can not explain, even though she is more like her dad than she is me. I love this child like you can never imagine. Find a way to catch her attention and provide her with the ability to focus on ... something!

God love them. I do. I just need a break.

Amen.

(Tomorrow - our new school year goals. Yes, I made them, as much as goal-setting is hard for me, I did it.)