The Seven Year Itch

Lately, (and I will explain why later) I have been very curious as to the meaning and origin of the expression, "The Seven Year Itch." I have been wondering what it originally referred to and how it was used. The seven year itch was actually a contagious and irritating skin condition that didn't begin after seven years, but lasted seven years. Yikes. It soon became easily treated with an antibioitic and was virtually never heard from again.

The derivation we now know it as, "The inclination to become unfaithful after seven years," comes from the 1955 film starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell, The Seven Year Itch. In fact, that famous photo of Marilyn Monroe, you know the one, the skirt blowing up while standing over a subway grate, comes from this movie. The plot has Ewell's character working for a company that is about to publish a book suggesting that many men crave extra-marital affairs after seven years of marriage.



No, I am not having a seven year itch and I don't believe Dave is, but I do believe my house is. It all started two years ago. We had lived in the house exactly seven years when the downfall began. First, our refrigerator. It started with the ice maker and then the filter. After living without an ice maker for months, we finally called out the service company to repair it. An $80 service call later and we had a new $200 ice maker.

A few months later, our washing machine and dryer decided it was their turn. Our washing machine decided to stop spinning, or at least decide when it wanted to and when it didn't want to. After six months of ringing out clothes by hand, manually trying to get it to spin and then restarting the cycle, we finally decided it was time to invest in a new set or get it repaired. Another $50 service call later, we learned the replacement part would cost as much as we paid for the machine. So, we opted to invest in a new washing machine and dryer. The perfect pair. They are so pretty and after six months of ringing out clothes, on the day it arrived and was installed, I sat in the laundry room and watched it wash and dry clothes, no kidding. It sounded like an airplane and my clothes were so dry when they came out of the washing machine, I began questioning the need for the dryer.

For the next three days, I washed everything in our house, comforters, towels, slipcovers, etc., you name it. And I still get a little giddy when I go into the laundry room.





Needless to say, that is not the end of this story. Within weeks of our new washing machine and dryer being installed, our dishwasher started acting up. It was leaking water onto our hardwood floors during the cycle. We always run our dishwasher in the evening, so we were waking up every day to a puddle. And if you know anything about wood, standing water is not so good for it. I tested several theories on its malfunction. Maybe it was the disposal. So I ran the disposal religiously for a few minutes before starting the dishwasher. Maybe it was the espresso grounds. So I started emptying those into garbage. Maybe the egg shells. Nothing. So, we called the dishwasher repair man. Two hundred dollars on parts - it still was leaking. We got a second opinion. It was time for a new one. So for Christmas 2010, I got this ...





Not exactly the purse I wanted, but it sure looks good now.

I was really hoping that would be the end. But, not a day later, our built-in microwave stopped working. It runs, it just doesn't heat. What the @#$*%^&? I called Factory Direct Appliance, who we purchased the microwave from just three years ago, they wanted $80 just to send a guy out, plus some crazy amount for every 15 minutes he was here. No way. Finally, last week, Davis asked if I would please fix the microwave so he could make his own lunch (read ... reheat noodles). No mother could say no to that.

Brings me to today. Factory Direct repairman shows up. My microwave, which cost $300 dollars to buy and install three years ago, needs a $248 Magnatron, a $52 Drode and a $54 Cap, plus labor. And the kicker, they guarantee their work for a whopping 90 days. What! Needless to say, I am not fixing it. The cost is one thing, but my biggest fear is that I will fix it and then my oven will break or my gas cooktop. I need those! I am going to Lowe's today to buy a countertop microwave. Nothing wrong with having two, right? Which brings me to a very funny story.

When Dave and I were dating, we were sitting at this dad's house talking with his dad. We were either watching or listening to a Jeff Foxworthy show. You know, the "You Might Be a Redneck..." series. As we were watching TV we heard, "You might be a redneck if you have a working TV on top of a non-working TV." We all started cracking up. Not only were we watching a TV sitting on top of a 1970s non-working console TV, Dave and his dad knew that they had two sets of those in that house on Monrovia. So, I am okay with it. Call me a redneck if you will - but at least my oven works ... today.





... and if my oven goes - there goes my children's college education. Because the new range I want requires a kitchen remodel.