Saturday, April 23, 2011

When I get overwhelmed, I like to run. I put on some headphones and head out the door and breathe. That's right I just breathe, in and out. I try to only think about breathing. I listen to classical music on the headphones and just keep breathing. Sometimes, I cry. Sometimes, I want to cry, but can't.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Tonight I was interrupted.

In the middle of my walk (walking because I already ran this morning), I was stopped by an Overland Park police officer who asked me if I had seen someone walking in camouflage clothing. I had seen a high schooler in jeans and a white t-shirt and a man in an orange jacket walking a white fluffy dog (ironically, it was the same man and dog I had seen earlier that morning when I was running). But no camouflage.

The office then said, well he was also wearing a ski mask. Really. Now I was nervous. Probably about 2 miles away from home, it was 8:30 in the evening and getting dark. He said not to worry, they had several officers patrolling the area. So I kept walking, took my headphones off so I could hear better, and kept breathing. But this wasn't normal 5-second-in-5-second-out breathing, this was crap-I-may-have-to-fight-off-an-attacker-I-could-be-killed breathing.

Five minutes into this panicked state of mind, I reminded myself of something I always tell Dave, because he worries about me when I run early in the morning or late at night. If I die while I am running, regardless of cause, that is how I want to go. Doing something I love and knowing that I was not afraid to live my life. So I calmed my breathing, put my headphones on low and kept my guard up.

I was ready. I was dealing with a lot of crap. I was pissed. If this crazy dude in camouflage and a ski mask even tried to approach me - he had another thing coming. Good for him he didn't see me!

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